I found God

I was just informed that Jamie Lynn Spears is going to do a cover of Amistad.

Gross.

Baby, close your eyes

Today was exceptionally good which is good because Spring Break has officially started but I'm in a rut.
I can either go to Gatlinburg with my parents for four days then have the rest of break to myself OR I can stay home for like nine days and go no where.
SUGGESTIONS?
Hm, and the boy was good today too.
Very, very good.

Gah.

Today was possibly the worst day of my life.
I was made fun of, taunted, bullied, and I, for the first time ever, cried on the bus.
Tomorrow's the field trip to the Science Center but I don't have anyone to "hang out" with.
So, I'm trying to get my parents to let me stay home so I don't have to go somewhere with people who make me cry all day.
Just 2 more months till hells over.

Oh, on a better note.
I got my Fray tickets in the mail today.

Big news, big news.
Kylie and I are going to the same Fray show now.
Yes, it's true. :]
So now I'm going with Duffy, Kylie, and Ellie.
I am also a lot more excited now.

I miss

Today sucked.
End of story.

So hold tight

I got my tickets.
Yay?
You think I would be a little happier, right?
I mean I'm happy but it just feels weird going to a show that 20,499 other people are going to attend.
And Kylie and I aren't going to the same show either. :/
I'm going with my friend Duffy which should be fun.
I know I'm going to have an amazing time and experience but just right now I'm a little iffy.

Anyway, today was pretty good.
School was actually amazing for once.
There's this boy...... :]
But then I got home and everything of course went to hell.
Like always.

No one ever said that life was fair and I'm not saying that it should be

REALLY?!?!?
Why in God's name are tickets to a Fray concert $12-$56?!?!
That is farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr too expensive.
Yes, I'm going to pay for them but just, it's ridiculous.
Pre-sale is in less than 24 hours.
Anyone else excited?

As I'm looking to the sky to count the stars I wonder if you see them where you are

I hate school.
I hate that I come home and cry everyday.
I hate that I'm so insecure.
I hate that everyone looks at me like I'm some kind of disease.
I hate that my family would like me to go away.
I hate that no one knows me.
I hate that no one tries.

Official decision

I have decided recently, today, that amphitheaters suck ass.
You see, The Fray kinda released the dates for their summer tour yesterday and I'm pissed.
I am so extremely thrilled that they have the fan base now that can fill 20,000 seats but why?
Why? Why? Why?
This isn't the kind of band that "just plays" to a crowd.
They try to connect with the crowd and I honestly do not see how you can do that to over 20,000 people in one setting!

You see, these are the seating capacity for the dates I have to choose from:
June 29- Cincinnati, OH (Riverbend Music Center): 20,500
July 2- Indianapolis, IN (Verizon Wireless Music Center): 24,000

And here was the seating capacity for January 10, 2009 in Detroit, Michigan.
A.K.A, the show I went to with Kylie.
January 10- Detroit, MI (St.Andrews Hall): 1,000

I am just so thankful that the first time I saw The Fray was in a bar, 900 people capacity, 2nd row, and I met two of them. Isaac Slade and Joesph King to be exact.
It was just so amazing to feel like Isaac was singing to me, ya know?
And when I go to a show this summer, OF COURSE I'm still going, I just don't think it will be the same.

Blah....

I'm sick, officially I guess.

I want to the doctor this morning and I have the flu and bronchitis.
Yipee.
Has anyone mentioned lately that The Fray is amazing?
Yes? Well, who cares.

Tata.

I have this infatuation...

with so many things.

One, THE FRAY. This incredibly AMAZING band that means the world to me. I've loved them since I was thirteen and I think, oh wait, I KNOW they'll be my favorite band for a very very long time.

Second, Mason Musso. It's just those red skinny jeans, that hair, and voice. That's it, there's really no context there.

Third, MUSIC. This is just, my life. It's always there and it's always just so special. Music never gets old because there's so much that people can write about meaning there's always new stuff. Music has affected my life in such a positive way and I owe everything to it.

I know this seems odd to a lot of you but to probably 5 of you, it makes complete and total sense.
Life has it's lessons and I really don't like that but I just have to live with it for now.

The flu...

is ridiculous.
I hate it and I want it to go away.
Ugh.
School sucked too but hey, what else is new?

I want to go here.

Good thing I am in 4 months.

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like maybe the world wouldn't be different if you weren't here?
Like everyone's lives would be simpler, funner, nicer if you weren't here.
It's just beginning to feel like no one cares.
Like no one would care if I was here.
People at school are kind of....wow.
Kids either make fun of me and always ask me "Are you emo?" or some kind of nonsense like that.
Or kids don't even acknowledge my existence.
I always walk with my head down, bite my nails, and let my bangs go over my eye.
I feel like people don't want to get the chance to know me and they won't try.
They judge over the fact that I listen to any other music then rap or hip-hop.
They judge over the fact that I am not "preppy" and I won't do what a guy wants me to do.
I'm unique, I'd like to think.
I'm a lot more mature then 99% of the people at my school and I am a lot more thankful with what I have.
My family is scared of me, well my aunts and uncles and such.
They think there's something wrong with me because I'd rather be in my room writing and listening to music then be with them.
No one understands me.
Maybe I'm just paranoid or maybe I'm right on it.
I know a lot of people go through the same thing and I feel so sorry for them but its changing for me.
I'm getting home schooled next year, I'm graduating next year, I'm going to Europe this summer, and I'm changing.
I don't really like the person I am and I'm doing something about it.
Are you?

1.10.09

This was the best day of my life.
I met Isaac Slade and Joe King of The Fray.
I met Kylie and Mandy, two of my best friends.
I saw my favorite band and it was the most amazing night of my life.
I would give anything to just have it back.